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13 Things I Wish Others Understood About My Food Allergies

11/10/2015

3 Comments

 
  • I'm not picky or looking for attention- My long list of food allergens is not due to attention seeking behavior or taste aversion—it is due to abnormal levels of antibodies in my blood.
  • It is hard to make spur of the moment plans- Having food allergies means not always knowing if and when safe food will be available. Because of this, it is helpful to make plans ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly and bring my own food.
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A weekend's worth of food
  • I can't just have a bite- I know so many people who claim to have allergies that constantly (knowingly or unknowingly) eat bites of things they are "allergic" to. People with food allergies can't just have one bite because even tiny levels of allergen protein can cause an anaphylactic reaction. Please, don't be offended if I don't want to try one bite of your dish to see if it is safe for me.
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How I avoid cross contamination at family parties
  • My Epipens are for emergencies only- A lot of people ask me if I can just eat what I am allergic to and then use my Epipen the way people who are lactose intolerant can sometimes take a lactaid pill if they want to drink milk/consume lactose containing products. Epipens aren't meant to prevent reactions. I carry my Epipens incase I have accidental exposure to my allergens in which case I can use them to buy me time before the ambulance arrives.
  • Peanuts aren't the only food allergy- Peanuts are a common allergen but so are milk, eggs, wheat, soy, tree nuts, fish and shellfish. The reality is though that people can be allergic to just about anything. While it is great there is so much awareness about peanut allergies, just because something is peanut free doesn't mean it is safe for me or everyone with food allergies.
  • Intolerances and allergies aren’t the same thing-  When I tell people that I am allergic to milk, people often ask if I am lactose intolerant. The answer is no, I am not. I am allergic. People often confuse allergies and intolerances. Allergies have to do with an immune system reaction to a protein whereas intolerances have to do with lack of enzymes in the gastrointestinal intestinal tract which breach down specific sugars (such as the lactose in milk). Allergies can be potentially life-threatening whereas intolerances are typically just uncomfortable.
  • Food allergies have caused me to have trust issues- Staying safe with food allergies is a group effort. As much as I try and avoid what I am allergic to, I also have to trust that my family, friends, and food manufacturers will not accidentally (or intentionally) feed me my allergens. If I question you multiple times about the way you prepared the food you made specifically for me, please don't be offended. Or if you offer to make me a safe meal and I decline the offer, it isn’t because I don’t trust you. It is because I know how hard it is to avoid my allergens. The bottom line is I just want to be safe, it is nothing personal.
  • If you are in my life, you are a superhero- Like I said, food allergy management is a group effort. Unlike most people, when I look at my friends and family I see superheroes. I see people who have spent hours in the ER with me, who have memorized my long list of allergens, who take extra precautions to make sure their hands are clean before touching me, who see me as me and not as allergies…I could go on and on. When I look at my parents, I see people who have sacrificed everything and would do anything to keep me safe. Without my parents, family and friends I would probably be dead. If you are my friends or family, I want you to understand how grateful I am for you.
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My "big sister"
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The Popkin Roth Fam
  • It gets tiring being vigilant all the time- Living with food allergies is tiring. Preventing reactions is more than just not eating food that obviously contains allergens. It involves making sure surfaces are allergen free, that allergen free food hasn’t been contaminated by allergens, and being careful of who touches/hugs me. When you have food allergies, letting your guard down can be deadly.
  • Anaphylactic reactions suck- The best way I can describe having an anaphylactic reaction is that it feels like my body is on fire. I get so itchy it feels like I want to peel my skin off. Then I start to have trouble breathing and my throat, tongue and lip start to swell. I start to feel like I am breathing through a straw that is progressively being pinched tighter and tighter. Part of me wants to use my Epipen because I want to make it all go away. The other part of me though doesn’t want to use it because I know once it gets used I will have to call 911 and go to the hospital which I hate.
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Pre-epi anaphylactic reaction #nofilter
  • My allergies aren't anyone’s fault- My food allergies aren’t a result of my eating habits or the things my mom ate while she was pregnant with me. My food allergies are the result of a random biological phenomenon and until the exact mechanism is determined, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t make accusations (unless you are a scientist curing them) as to what caused my food allergies.
  • Don’t feel sorry for me- Almost every time I tell someone about my food allergies they tell me they are sorry. Honestly, there is nothing to be sorry about. As frustrating as they can be sometimes, food allergies have taught me who my true friends are, to be thankful for every breath I take and have made me a stronger, more caring person.
  • I don't need to not live to stay safe- An ER nurse once told my mom she was stupid to let me go away to college because I would probably end up accidentally killing myself. The truth is, despite my food allergies, I can do whatever I want to do. I might have to do it differently, but I can make it work. Please don’t ever try and limit me because you think you are keeping me safe. Only I know my limits.
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Steering my life since day one and I don't plan on letting food allergies or anyone else take the wheel from me.
3 Comments

10 Fears I Have Of Becoming A Food Allergic Adult

11/5/2015

6 Comments

 
Last week, I saw my allergist. The appointment was going really well until he told me I will probably never outgrow my allergies and they will probably never reduce in severity. Ever since then, I have been thinking a lot about adulthood and life after college. I haven't even admitted this to anyone (including my family and closest friends) but I am actually terrified to grow up especially knowing my allergies aren't going away any time soon. I feel like at this point in my life I am good at managing my food allergies but I know that as I get older, I will encounter new situations that will challenge my coping skills. Here is what I am most afraid of though as I grow up: 
  1. Being Financially Independent- I am so lucky that my parents still support me still even though I am in college. My grocery bill alone is enough to make any college student want to cry. It is scary to think of all the additional things that my parents pay for like my medications, doctors appointments, insurance, hospital bills will be my responsibility soon. 
  2. Drinking- Currently, since I am only 19, I don't drink. Having as many food allergies as I do makes it hard to find safe alcohol. As a result I have chosen not to drink until I am old enough to legally call companies and discuss with them the ingredients that are in their alcohol. I know when I am older my friends will want to go to the bar and drink. I'm afraid that I will feel left out when we go to the bars as I sip my safe diet coke.
  3. Eating Out- Because of all my food allergies, I can not eat any food prepared in restaurants. As a result, I bring all of my own food out to eat. I am afraid as I get older it will be seen as less acceptable to bring my lunchbox of my own food to restaurants. 
  4. Hand Shaking- As weird as it sounds, I am afraid of being in a situation where shaking hands could be awkward. Personally, I don't like to disclose my allergies until people really get to know me. Unfortunately, most of the time, meeting new people involves shaking hands which is potentially dangerous if I am greeting someone who has just been eating food I am allergic to. I am also afraid though of coming off as weak or unprofessional if I tell them I can't shake their hand because of my allergies.
  5. Loosing Protection of Others- Growing up, I have always been lucky to have friends and family who look out for me. Having food allergies and being hyper-vigalant 24/7 gets tiring. I am so fortunate to have friends and family who shoulder the burden. I am afraid though that as I get older, my friends and family will stop protecting me and I will be left to manage my allergies all alone. I am so thankful to everyone who helps me now and I don't want to loose them.
  6. Meeting the Right Guy- When you have food allergies, finding the right guy can be hard. It is hard to find someone who gets it and is willing to keep you safe. I will never expect my boyfriend/husband to avoid everything I am allergic to but I hope I can find a guy who will be willing to eat my food and help me stay safe.
  7. Getting Married- I think it is safe to say every girl dreams about her wedding. We dream about the dress we are going to wear, the classic cake smash, our honeymoon and sharing one of the most important days of our life with the people we love. I am not going to lie, as much as I like fantasizing it, I fear my wedding. I fear how difficult it is going to be to be safe when all my relatives want to kiss me on the cheek. I fear how we are going to pull off a classic cake smash. Most of all though, I fear coming in a limo to my reception but that I will leave in an ambulance.
  8. Having Children- I have always loved kids. I always joke with my mom but I want a lot of kids and that she will be a grandmother to lots of grandchildren. I am afraid though that they will have food allergies too. I don't want them to have to deal with what I deal with on a daily basis. At the same time, I don't want to worry about not being able to kiss or hug my child because they ate something I am allergic to. 
  9. Not Living To See a Cure- Every day I hope that food allergies will have some incredible breakthrough treatment and they will be cured. Unfortunately though, I don't see any convincing evidence of that happening soon. I just hope that scientists prove me wrong. I am afraid of living my entire life with food allergies and not getting a change to experience food the way my friends and family do.
  10. Living With Regrets- I try to live my life without regrets and as cliche as it may sound, it is true. I am afraid though that I am going to look back on my life at the things I didn't do in college because of my allergies and wish that I had done them.
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No matter how old I get though, I will always still be young and goofy at heart!
6 Comments

    Author

    Lily Roth Is a college student with food allergies and Nancy Popkin is her mother.

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