Last week I went to a yoga class with a friend after pressure from my mom to go find my inner peace. I found myself at a hipster style yoga studio on the South Side of Pittsburgh sitting atop two bars with no air-conditioning and the music of the streets humming in the background. Every so often, a waft of stale spices and dust floated by. I took a deep breath somewhat questioning my place in this yoga studio both because I don't really live the namaste lifestyle and because, well, it was slightly difficult to breathe inside with my asthma. But, we had already paid for the class and the yoga must go on.​

My friend and I took our spots on the floor and the Yoga instructor started to talk. He told the class of 4 people (including my friend and I) that the purpose of yoga is to give our minds a rest since they never get a chance to turn off. And from there, we began saluting the sun. As our bodies morphed from one animal to another, I found myself mesmerized by the instructors voice as he coached us to focus on our breathing. As I felt my lungs fill with air and then release it, I realized I have never really thought about what it felt like to breathe without difficulty. After about 15 minutes though, I could tell my lungs were not thrilled with the dusty air they were breathing. The focus on my breathing allowed me to notice even the subtle changes as the dust air aggravated my lungs. Intermittently I coughed as silently as I could in an attempt not to ruin my classmates’ peace and when the class was finally over, it was a sigh of relief. 

While my yoga experience wasn’t as smooth as it could have been, the class taught me two very important things.  First off, I never really thought about how busy our minds are. Having food allergies and asthma, my mind is in a subconscious constant high alert even if am not consciously thinking about my food allergies. It is my subconscious mind that tells me to avoid the crumbs on the table, or to check ingredients of the food I buy, or to grab my medication before I leave home. Even when I sleep my mind is still active. On nights when my asthma is bad, my mind creates a dream in which I can’t breathe only to wake me up so I realize it and can take my medications. The truth is, food allergy kid, teen, adult, parent, sibling, or family member, our minds are always on high alert preventing us from truly ever relaxing. 

The other thing I learned is what is feels like to breathe normally. To be honest, the only time that I have ever really focused on my breathing is when I can’t breathe, otherwise it is just automatic. It is kind of like when you get a cold and your nose is all stuffed up and you promise up and down you aren't going to take air flow through your nostrils for granted, but as soon as the cold clears up, it never again crosses your mind. I think knowing what our baseline breathing feels like is so important. It is important because it makes it easier to recognize subtle changes in our breathing allowing us to potentially treat our breathing difficulties sooner thus requiring less intensive care (i.e. steroids, round the clock neb treatments or potential hospitalizations).

I am kind of disappointed I was so hesitant to try yoga with my mom in the past as the next morning I woke up feeling refreshed and renewed. While I am not saying go run to your closest yoga studio and become a namaste master, what I am saying is there are two super important things that we, as food allergy community members need to keep in mind. The first is that it is so important for our health to find a way to give our mind a break from being on constant high alert. Constant stress can effect our immune system and trust me, our already wacked out immune systems are compromised enough without the added stress. The second is that being in touch with our bodies is so important in recognizing any potential changes in our health so that we can address it as soon as possible. 

And with that, I say Namaste. 

Have you found a way to allow your mind to relax? Let us know in the comments below!

Today, I was sitting in the park with my friend watching soon to be Freshman walk by, eyes wide open, taking in the sites of our beautiful campus. See at Pitt, soon-to-be Freshman (or Pre-Freshman as my friend calls them), who have come to campus for orientation are easily recognizable as they each don a cheap navy blue and gold Pitt Start cinch backpack. As I pointed them out, semi-reflecting on how far I have come in the past two years in college, I couldn't help but think about all of the unknowns that were swirling around inside of my head and some of the things I would have wanted to know before heading 6 hours away from home when I was in their shoes. So, in hopes this will help someone else, here is my list of 10 things I wish I had known before I started my freshman year of college. 

1. People are going to like you for who you are- I have an amazing group of friends from high school and I thought that I was never going to find friends like them anywhere else. My high school friends were amazing about my allergies and never made me feel bad about them or left out. I was worried that going to college I wasn't going to find new friends who loved me as much as my high school friends love me. My fears vanished as I quickly made friends in college who cared about me as much as my high school friends do. The truth is, no matter where you go, there are going to be jerks and there are going to be people who love you for who you are and care about you more than you could ever imagine.
2. There is going to be alcohol- Sure, not all of college is drinking and partying--at least it isn't if you plan to stay in college for more than one semester, but alcohol makes an appearance very frequently in college. If you are thinking about drinking once you get to college (if you haven't already) the most important thing is finding alcohol that is safe for you to consume. This might mean a serious conversation with your parents or allergist. If you are going to drink, be smart. Know where your medication is. Don't eat questionable food and don't get yourself to the point where you have lost all your inhibitions.
3. You will probably have an unexpected hookup/attempted hookup- I will never forget the first time someone tried to hookup with me in college. We were in my friend's dorm on a guys floor hanging out with some friends she had met when one of their drunk roommates came in. He came down, sat next to me, put his arm around me and proceeded to ask if he could kiss me (A+ for asking for consent, although I must say it was quite strange). After explaining my allergies to him and the fact that what he was drinking and eating contained things I was allergic to, I told him maybe later if he cleaned himself up. The conversation continued, and he kept his arm around me. A few minutes later, I felt him kissing my neck. Needless to say, within a few minutes I had big bulging hives up and down my neck (at least they weren't hickies I suppose). Anyway, long story short, it is important to learn how to refuse someone and explain that it is unsafe at the moment but maybe later once they have taken necessary precautions.
4. You will probably have an allergic reaction- I have had my fair share of anaphylactic reactions in college. Some of them were my own stupidity and others were completely unpreventable. Regardless, even if you haven't had an anaphylactic reaction since you were two years old, it is so important to be prepared for one when you go to college. Don't leave anywhere without your epipens and make sure they aren't expired and you know how to use them.
5. You are going to be left out- The truth is, there are some things that happen in college that no matter how hard you try to make accommodations will just never be safe. While it can feel super sucky in the moment, in the end, it is much better than risking your life.
6. ​You are going to get frustrated- Having food allergies in college sucks. It limits your ability to go out and be spontaneous the way college students like to. And the truth is, you are going to get frustrated because sometimes it will seem like your food allergies are holding you back or you are missing out on fun. The most important thing is when you start to get frustrated, don't internalize it. Get out, relax and do something that makes you happy and feel safe. 
7. You are going to learn to advocate for yourself- ​There will be times when you have to speak up for yourself because your parents are no longer with you to raise their voices. It will take some time to get used to taking on full responsibility for your food allergies if you haven't already, but I have no doubt you will get the hang of it.
8. Your parents are going to be overprotective, and that is ok- I remember my first semester of freshman year, my mom was constantly checking up on me to make sure I was still alive. It got frustrating very quickly but then I realized that she was only checking up on me because she loves me. So if your parents text or call you, do them (and yourself a favor) and respond. You owe it to them to let them know you are ok.
9. You can't plan/control everything- On the Myers Brigs Personality Inventory, I always rank as an ESFJ- the J, for Judging speaks to my strong need to pre-plan. For me, planing in advance helps keep me safe. Since I have been in college, I have had to learn that no matter how hard I try I can't control everything and the only true thing I can plan for is an emergency. 
10. Don't let food allergies be your excuse- I am an extrovert. I love being around people and trying new things. This past year, I went way out of my comfort zone and tried a lot of things I probably never would have done before college. While it made me more susceptible to asthma attacks and allergic reactions because I wasn't in the safety of my own apartment, I don't regret getting out and living life. 

So Pre-Freshman, if you are still with me, I want you to know I am wishing you the best possible experience in college. My one piece of parting advice is be safe, be prepared and most of all, have fun and learn a lot. If you are feeling alone, and anxious and looking for some advice, don't hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Good luck in your next 4 years of college! 

Best,
Lily 

Peanut free. Schools across the nation have become peanut free perhaps for insurance purposes but also for the safety of kids with peanut allergies. Within the last few years, more and more family venues such as baseball stadiums, movie theaters and day camps have jumped on the bandwagon and began to provide safe environments for peanut allergic individuals.

But what about milk, egg, tree nut, wheat, soy, fish and shellfish allergic individuals, not to mention those with allergies to non top 8 foods? While peanut allergies do tend to have the highest rate of anaphylaxis, any food can trigger a fatal anaphylactic reaction. So the question is, why is it more important we avoid peanut products than avoiding other allergens that could potentially make others extremely sick?

This question brings to light the privilege of the peanut allergy. You see, being asked to avoid peanut products while around a peanut allergic individual, while potentially annoying, most reasonable people would probably do it because modern culture tells them they should. But if we switch the allergen to milk, suddenly the request is no longer reasonable. Why? Because milk is much more widespread than peanut products and is therefore "unfair" to ask others to avoid even if it could have the same health effects to an individual with a milk allergy as peanuts do to an individual with a peanut allergy. 

I am not suggesting we begin banning all potential allergens from places that currently ban peanuts because that would be a logistical nightmare. What we can do is unite the fight against food allergies. We must remember, we are fighting for the safety of those with food allergies. If this means that we are going to put up a fight when peanut protein is added to foods because we are concerned about labeling, then we need to not only fight for peanut cross contamination to be better labeled but for all potential allergen contamination to be better labeled. If we are going to fight about loosing safe foods than we can't just fight when peanuts are added to foods as fillers but we must fight when milk and soy are added as fillers.  If we are going to fight to get peanuts from being served on airplanes for the basis of airborne allergies, we must fight for those with other airborne allergies to be able to safely fly. If we are going to create lists of safe snacks for those with peanut allergies, we should be creating lists of safe snacks for all allergens. We can not shame those with allergies other than peanuts for eating peanut products just as we can not shame those with only peanut allergies for eating foods with other allergens.

The truth is, the food allergy world isn't fair and it probably will never be. Schools will probably not go top 8 or even all allergen free and baseball stadiums and movie theaters will probably never offer a completely allergy free night. But, we can create equality in the way we raise awareness about food allergies. With Food Allergy Awareness Week around the corner, it is important we give all allergies an equal voice this year. There is no reason to make one allergen seem like it is worst than another or that it deserves more awareness. Each allergen (or combination of allergens) comes with a unique set of challenges as well as a unique set of benefits. So there is no reason to be Team Peanut or Team Milk or Team Shellfish. Together, we can be Team Food Allergy because our voices joined together can create more change than when they are by themselves. 

So I leave you all with this question, feel free to comment below. How do we better unite as a food allergy community? 

Dear Food Allergy Parents Petitioning Kellogg's,
Let's be honest, food allergy moms have a certain stereotype. They are often the all involved helicopter moms--they have to be in order to keep their kids safe. Recently I saw on Facebook a petition to stop Kellogg's from adding peanut flour to their Keebler and Austin crackers (see below).  

According to Food Allergy Research and Education Organization, the affected crackers will be Austin Cheddar Cheese Cracker Sandwiches, Austin Grilled Cheese Cracker Sandwiches, Austin Pepper Jack Cracker Sandwiches and the Austin Variety Pack Cracker Sandwiches. The Keebler flavors that will be affected include Keebler Club & Cheddar Sandwich Crackers, Keebler Cheese & Cheddar Sandwich Crackers, Keebler Pepper Jack Sandwich Crackers and the Keebler Variety Pack Sandwich Crackers. Kellogg's backs their addition of peanut flour as a way to make the crackers healthier.

I will be honest, I don't eat snack cracker packs because without the peanut flour they are all still unsafe for me. But, let's take a moment to consider what people are getting up in arms about. Parents are getting upset over sandwich crackers. Sandwich crackers that already contain flavors unsafe for their children. Sandwich crackers that if we are being honest here are filled with nothing but low quality, nutritionally subpar ingredients.

What I am writing to you about is about more than the peanut flour in the crackers. What upsets me is the fact parents who petition things like peanut flour in one brand of sandwich crackers unintentiaonlly make life harder for their food allergic kids. Kellogg's is changing their ingredients in an effort to champion healthier products and many people view food allergy parents as standing in the way of their mission that will ultimately impact many more kids than the 3 million kids with peanut allergies. People view this petitioning the same way they view food allergy parents as standing in the way of their child's school party or peanut butter and jelly sandwich at lunch. It adds more stigma and makes people less likely to consider legitimate requests. 

But what is most detrimental is what it does to us kids with food allergies. Growing up, everything is handed to us to make us safe. We are sat at peanut free tables, have a safe box of treats and learn to expect that life is going to be adapted to fit our needs. The truth is life isn't like that. As a college student first hand I have learned that there isn't always going to be alternatives offered at parties or nut free tables in the cafeteria. I understand the safety of peanut free tables in schools but unfortunately there is no allergy free table in life. Part of growing up is learning how do manage different social situations. If we are constantly kept in a bubble, we will never learn how to care for ourselves in the real world--potentially leading to an increased number of reactions in our teenage years. 

Petitioning crackers and getting upset about something that is out of your control is teaching your child to expect to be adapted to. Going into life with that attitude is not only going to make your child disliked but set them up for the false sense of the world revolving around their needs. So please, instead of petitioning the inevitable addition of peanut flour to kellogg's snack crackers use the situation as a learning experience. Teach your child that ingredients change all the time and it is important to check foods every time they eat them, even if they were previously safe. Teach your child the importance of adaptation and accommodation--sandwich crackers are simple to make (recipe below). Most of all, use it to teach them that it isn't worth getting upset about little things. Living with food allergies, it is so easy to get upset and frustrated over the frustrations of managing a life-threatening condition that it is important to remember that getting upset over every little sandwich cracker type situation is only going to lead to a life of frustration and disappointment. 

Sincerely,
A Teen With Food Allergies 

P.S I have included my allergy friendly, peanut flour free, sandwich cracker recipe below:

Ingredients:
-1 Box safe crackers
-1 Box safe spread of choice

Instructions: Remove first cracker from package. Cover one side of the cracker with safe spread. Top with second cracker. Repeat until desired number of cracker sandwiches have been made.

P.P.S I would love to have a friendly conversation with anyone who would like to comment below. I do ask that you keep any personal attacks to yourself.

As promised, I am going to keep you all updated on my journey (which started here) though therapy as I attempt to get over my anxiety around anaphylaxis and using my epipen. After talking with multiple teenagers with severe food allergies I have learned that this is a problem faced by many and unfortunately there isn't a lot being done to address it. Here are my reflections from this week's session with my therapist: 

I remember my first day of EMT class when we talked about two things. The first, the provider always comes first to the patient and the second, how to recognize burnout in yourself and your coworkers. Being in EMS is stressful. When you go into work, you never know what you might see. On one call, you might help a kind old lady and on the next call, you might be shot at by a drunk. EMS is unpredictable and dangerous and can eventually lead to what is referred to as "burnout" in providers. So there we were, sitting in EMT class, on our first day, learning about what could maybe, possibly happen to us 10 or 15 years down the road. I glanced at the potential list of burnout symptoms--sleep disturbances, lack of care and motivation, anxiety--just to name a few. Honestly, I sort of dismissed it and assumed it would never happen to me. And while thankfully, it hasn't yet, burnout is starting to happen in other aspects of my life.

Today, my therapist pointed out to my friend (who attended with me) and I that I am probably experiencing some form of food allergy burnout. I am so tired and done with dealing with my food allergies that I have probably, perhaps unconsciously started to let my food allergy management slip. I have put other things before my food allergy management like social events and recreational activities that in years prior would have come secondary to my safety. And when I have reactions, part of my resistance to using my epipen most likely comes from the fact that I don't want to be having another reaction because I am just so done. I am so done with struggling to breathe. I am so done with checking every ingredient in every thing I eat. I am so tired of having to cook every meal I eat and navigate social situations where I have to be hyper-vigilant about what everyone else is eating and touching. I just need a chance to completely let my guard down which unfortunately with food allergies is extremely risky. 

In EMS so many measures are put in place to prevent provider burnout. Things like Facebook pages dedicated to EMS humor, support groups, talking with partners who "get it" and debriefing stressful events with critical incident stress management (CISM) teams. Perhaps the last one is most important though. After particularly stressful calls or incidents, crews have the opportunity to meet with CISM teams. CISM teams are put in place to help reduce the emotional trauma EMS crews experience. Unfortunately with food allergy management, there is no such thing as a CISM team for after a reaction.

For me, the trauma of an anaphylactic reaction is just as much physical as it is mental. Sure my body is not itself for days after an anaphylaxis, but neither is my mind. After you have a reaction, which for me feels like confirmation that I am not doing everything I can to manage my food allergies, instead of taking a vacation we go back to food allergy management. There is no break.

For teenagers with food allergies, while at this point food allergies have become as second nature as tying our shoes, it is important to recognize that it isn't. It is important to remind ourselves that managing food allergies are a lot of work. They eat up our time and energy and can make us miss the things we love. And while it is important to remain hopeful of the treatments on the horizon, it also stinks to know that there is a potential we could be managing this condition for the rest of our lives.

I am happy I am addressing this issue now before it had a chance to negatively effect my everyday life and the relationships I have with my family in friends. If you are reading this, and this seems like you, don't be afraid to get help. Please talk to a friend, a family member or even a licensed therapist and get help. While food allergies may be chronic, there is no reason that the feelings of burnout need to be chronic too.

So now, the golden question remains, how exactly do we prevent burnout and treat it if it is already manifesting? Comment below with ideas, we love to hear your voices!

Here are some of the worst pieces of advice I have received over the years in regards to my food allergies. While I believe that all of these people were giving me their "advice" with the best of intentions, I can't help but think about how comical the advice really is. Just goes to show we still have a lot of community education to do.

Disclaimer: Before reading these pieces of "advice", please note that none of this "advice" should be attempted without consulting your doctor.
​

1. "You should try eating little bits of your allergens every day and build up a tolerance."  ~PreMed Student who thinks they are a doctor​
2. "Next time you have an anaphylactic reaction, give yourself your epipen in your heart like on TV and see what happens." ~Fellow leadership conference attendee
3. "When you are ready to die, go buy foods you are allergic to and just eat them, but don't use your epipen. That way you can die happy and on your own terms." ~High school classmate 
4. "Do online college, you won't be able to handle regular college with your food allergies." ~ER Nurse
5. "Don't get vaccines--they cause food allergies" ~Facebook "Friend"
6. "Have you tried probiotics? They fixed my friend's gut health and got rid of her food allergies." ~Whole Food's Cashier
7. "You should have tried your inhaler first, even if your lips were swelling." ~Paramedic after my school nurse gave me my epipen for an anaphylactic reaction 
8. "If I were you, I would just stay in my house. That way I could never be exposed to allergens and never have an allergic reaction." ~College Classmate
9. "What if you took Benadryl every day before eating what you are allergic to. Kind of like a Lactaid pill." ~Pharmacy Student
10. "Perhaps you need to get rid of your sins and then you will stop having allergic reactions." ~Religious group leader
11. "Hold food you aren't sure if you are allergic to in one hand and hold out your other arm so that it is perpendicular with your body. Hold your arm ridged. Then have someone try and push down your arm while you resist. If they can push your arm down, you are allergic to the food you are holding. If they can't push your arm down, you aren't allergic to it. ~Food Allergy Mom 

Every year, since I was little I have made a New Year's resolution list. It is usually a long list of things that gets broken soon after all of the holiday lights have come down and Martin Luther King's birthday has been celebrated. This year, though, I want to keep my New Year's resolutions. So as I sit down to write the dreaded list, I have decided to pin point why exactly I have failed year after year. What I have noticed seems to be a common theme in my lists is two things. One, they are way to long. I am talking 15-20 things a list. I have a hard enough time remembering all my allergies, I really don't need another long list to memorize and keep at the forefront of my brain. The second common theme is that many of them contain resolutions of things I ultimately have no control over. For example, from my 2005 list--to grow 7 inches or a theme that shows up on multiple list--to have a reaction free year. 

In an effort to make a more feasible New Year's resolution list (an I urge you to do the same as well) I have come up with the following:

1. To do my best

That is all. One thing. One thing that I have absolute total control over. I can't make the exams I take, but I can do my best to study and prepare for them. I can't make my body not have allergic reactions to things, but I can do my best to protect myself and be proactive. 

The truth is I could find a way to make sure no one ever had to use another epipen I would. As we go into the New Year, I encourage everyone to do their best at preventing allergic reactions but recognize the fact that if one does happen, you are not a failure. You body is a failure. Ultimately it is not your fault your body creates antibodies against certain foods so ultimately your body failed, not you.

So as we move into the New Year, I want to wish all of you a safe and healthy year filled with as much goodness and happiness as one year could possibly hold. And I ask, what is your New Year's resolutions (comment below)?